Most Deserving Winner: Viola Davis
Wonderful, raw, heart-breaking performance in the 15 minutes of screen time that wasn't taken up with Denzel monologuing.
Least Deserving Winner: Emma Stone
I love Emma Stone, and I'm sure the Hollywood machine will give her a role at some point that will allow her to flex her acting muscles and earn an Oscar, but this wasn't it. She was fine, and served the film well, but the film wasn't about acting, it was about singing and dancing and what it looked like. If she didn't get it for Crazy Stupid Love, she doesn't deserve it for this.
Best Speech: Anousheh Ansari
The Iranian filmmaker, winner of the Best Foreign Language film, boycotted the Oscars to protest Trump's travel ban. Instead, he got someone he knew to read a prepared statement. It was political, pithy, made a statement, and didn't overstay it's welcome.
Worst Speech: Viola Davis
"I became an artist—and thank God I did—because we are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life."
What?
One thing that grinds my gears is when actors start proclaiming that actors are the most important people in the history of the world. It happens all the time. They start banging on about how if there were no more actors, the world would become an empty cesspool, devoid of happiness and emotion. It's the reason I can't watch the SAG awards (a TV and Film awards show with just actors, and no techies, writers or animators to keep things in any way grounded). Team America's FAG speech by Alec Baldwin becomes more prescient every year.
Best Host: Jimmy Kimmel
An obvious one, but I think he did very well, so he deserves recognition.
Best Presenter: Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman
The only presenters that tried to do something fun. I don't understand how the rest of the presenters can be so dull. These people are actors, and yet to see them read the teleprompter you'd think they were the person at work who really hates giving presentations and just reads the powerpoint.
Big Loser: Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway
I feel so sorry for these guys. The mix up made them look like doddery old fools, when it wasn't their fault. Logic says that they should have questioned the contents of the envelope to someone when they opened it, but with hundreds of people in the room and millions watching on TV, it's unfair to expect someone to act with complete composure.
Big Winner: Diversity
Even if there was a certain element of the Academy trying to overcome the Oscars Whitewash outrage of last year by awarding Best Picture to this, it doesn't matter. The awards are political regardless of race and by no means a measure of objective quality. The fact that this film, that champions both filmmakers of colour and LGBT stories, won the big one is a great thing, and will hopefully be another step on the road to more diverse stories being told. As a white man, this will leave me with fewer opportunities, but my selfishness still can't force me to be sad. This was a great film that was more deserving than La La Land (itself a wonderful film, just not a 14-Oscar-nominations wonderful film).
And I'd already come to accept that Captain America: Civil War would be left out. I've cried my tears. The Academy can't hurt me any more.