Directed by Zack Snyder
Written by Chris Terrio and David S Goyer
Starring Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Jesse Eisenberg
Age difference between romantic leads: Henry Cavill is 9 years YOUNGER than Amy Adams! What the hell is going on, Hollywood? You're slipping! It's still too much, because I'm taking 7 years as the maximum difference, but I'm going to let it slide because it's the other way around and whilst that doesn't make it ok, it's a nice change.
This film felt like a long time coming. Announced in 2013, seemingly in an attempt to cash in on the multi-hero formula of Marvel's triumphant Avengers film of the previous year, the 3 years in between have felt like an age for many of us. Superman and Batman are 2 of the most iconic characters in fiction; the average non-comic book reader on the street could pick them out of a lineup and tell you something of their respective stories. A film featuring both of them? For the first time ever? This was big stuff.
But immediately, there were reservations. And a large part of it boiled down to that little letter in between their names. V. Versus. Against. Implying conflict. Now, a well-worn trope of any superhero team up is the initial squabble. Hero A meets Hero B. There is a misunderstanding of some kind. The heroes fight briefly, long enough to satisfy fanboy what-iffing, but cut short before any arguments can be officially answered. The heroes then realise they're on the same team, and combine their powers to tackle the real villain of the piece. It happens in the majority of team ups, and it didn't take a genius to surmise that this film would be no different. But that V. That V said that the fight would be the focus of the film, and not a trifling matter that occurred early. That could present problems. Still, the announcement was made with a direct quote from Frank Miller's celebrated book The Dark Knight Returns, which culminated in a fight between Bats and Supes, and would serve as excellent inspiration.
The intervening years brought more concerns. Rumours that Wonder Woman would feature. Rumours that Aquaman would feature. Some kind of Robin, maybe The Flash, The Joker perhaps. The cast list for the film, and my list of worries, got longer and longer. The film would be directed by Zack Snyder, whose Man of Steel film was a joyless affair with a third act fight between Superman and Kryptonian villain General Zod that levelled most of Metropolis. But for every worry, there was seemingly something intriguing to restore faith. The casting of Ben Affleck as an older, world-weary Batman was something we hadn't seen before on the big screen. Similarly Jesse Eisenberg as a younger Lex Luthor. Jeremy Irons as Alfred, bringing yet more acting respect to the film. By the time this year rolled around, the film had risen to the very top of my 'Most Anticipated' pile, just to see what kind of film this bubbling stew of ingredients would produce. My expectations were low, as ultimately the director dictates the direction of the film and Zack Snyder had shown 'form' in being able to take incredibly exciting elements (sexy gun-wielding, katana swinging action girls, zombie Nazis, giant samurai, dragons, robots, Oscar Isaac) and crafted something truly putrid out of them (Sucker Punch).
Even with my expectations ankle-low, I was disappointed.
As expected, with the million and 9 things the film has to fit in, it's incredibly bloated and messy. It doesn't have time to give one of it's main characters (prominently featured in promotional material) any kind of a name. It doesn't have time to give its main protagonist any real development or motivation for having a grievance against either hero. It doesn't have time to logically bring the heroes back onto the same page after their tussle, instead giving one of them a complete 180 degree turn in allegiance with a single line. What it does have time for however are dream sequences, flashbacks, and teasers for future films.
As expected, because of that pesky little V, the fight has to occur a decent amount into the film, which means the action preceding it is incredibly drawn out and laboured. Story line wrinkles in the first hour or so seem uncommonly stupid and nonsensical, even for a film of this type. I don't know whether that's true, or I was just more attuned to them because I wasn't having a good time, but there was Fridge Logic all over this. The main two characters are set up well enough, but the personalities they present mean that when the fight actually happens, you're not cheering for either of them. If you have the choice between an introspective whiner and a quick-to-judge fascist, who do you pick? I found myself hoping Wonder Woman would come along and tell them both to pack it in and stop being such idiots.
No film is all bad, and I do give this film credit for rumbling on at a good pace and not allowing you to get bored at all. Ben Affleck is good in his role (even if his role doesn't seem a lot like Batman to me), Gal Gadot performs well in her limited screen time and Jeremy Irons and Lawrence Fishburne provide some much needed levity when all around them is po faced and sullen. The costumes are spot on, the score is excellent (especially the Superman theme, reprised from Man of Steel) and there are some incredible images, as only Zack Snyder can produce.
It's just a shame that the rest of Zack Snyder's hallmarks (desaturated colours, excessive slow mo, a lack of concern for character and story) are present and accounted for as well. At the end of the film, Luthor is disregarded entirely for (as spoiled in the trailers) Doomsday: a giant, mindless engine of destruction, placed into the story simply to create some gigantic, difficult-to-follow action that, like Man of Steel, definitely indulges anyone's Destruction Porn fix. I feel like that sums up the film as a whole. Spectacular, visually dynamic, but without any thought or character.
But ultimately, it doesn't matter what I think. The movie has already made all the money, and will be making a lot more before all's said and done. It's a mindless spectacular, with big action and crazy superpowers. It's the Transformers of superhero films. Maybe I'm too influenced by the baggage I brought into the film, maybe I am a Marvel fanboy after all. But the fact is I didn't enjoy my time in the cinema with this playing in front of me, which is why I can only give the film...